I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
