Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
