Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
