Tell her she can't have a vagina
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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