So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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