Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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