Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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