im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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