did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
