He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
