Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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