I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
