This girl is more easily done than said...
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
