Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
