Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
