can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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