I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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