Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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