Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We talked him into tasing himself.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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