Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
