I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
