I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
