There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
