CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
