this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
