he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
