Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
