Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Randomize