FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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