I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
