who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What a dumb baby whore.
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You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
