dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
