Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
