never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
