Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
