this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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