living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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