we have officially lost it.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
