K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
