she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
