yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize