We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
