even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
