I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
