yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
