not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
