i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
