Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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