That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
