She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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