i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
