My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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