Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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