THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
