Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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