I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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