I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
