sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
this hospital has no fireball
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
