Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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