My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
