I CAN MOONWALK!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
