It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
