You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
