gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
