i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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