Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
